Why Her? Why Him? On Soul Mates and Soul Matters
Why do you fall in love with Jack and not Tom; with Sally and not Amanda? The last stage in our understanding the perception of falling in love is the personal question: Why him or why her? Whom you marry is an enormously influential factor in the nature, quality and direction of your life. Marry Sue and not Kate — your entire life changes.
In response to these potent questions we unpack the third dimension of the unique perception which we call falling in love. This is a finely tuned balance between conscious and unconscious perception. Falling in love provides us — as we shall see — with a vital form of unconscious perception. Falling out of love – if we do it wisely makes that unconscious perception conscious. We are then offered the enormous gift of getting to freely choose as our the path that the universe has already charted for us. In that free choice we embark on the healing and growth that is one of the great intentions of our journey through this world.
For the Hebrew mystics, love choices are all about healing and growing. Judah Loew, Renaissance mystic and philosopher from Prague writes, “The person you marry is the person who completes you, filling in that which is missing in your soul and psyche.” To say it differently, love is about fixing and being fixed. We are all a little broken and we all need some fixing. The person you fall in love with is your healer, the one who can repair the brokenness that is unique to you and your life. And in the magic of a symmetrical and loving universe, that same person is in need of just the healing that you have to give as well.
There is a strange tale about healing relationships that I often share as my gift to brides and grooms under their wedding canopy. It is a story about that which may be crippled in us and that which may be healed in us. It is a story of an arranged marriage, as was the custom of the time, but it may have much to say even to us moderns. It is a true story about the famous Kabbalist, Hayim of Sanz.
marc gafni
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