Falling In Love: Part Seventeen: Remember The Night You Fell In Love: Marc Gafni
Vessels and Light
Light is the symbol of love. When the vessels are repaired then they will once again be able to hold the light. So falling in love is somewhat like gazing directly into the midday sun: we cannot contain the light without first preparing our eyes.
Anyone who has been a lover remembers the night they fell in love. But if the marriage subsequently breaks up, they will curse this night: “How could I have been so foolish as to fall for it? Why didn’t I know that it wasn’t true?”
In fact, teaches the Holy Rebbe of Slonim, that night of falling in love is almost always true… it is we who all too often are not true to it. The truth and grandeur of falling in love are greater than the ability of our vessels to hold it.
I remember such a night. It was on 34th Street in Manhattan. She was wearing a blue beret. Her eyes sparkled. It seemed like she was life personified. She was it. She is today the mother of my daughter. She was once my wife: my vessels could not hold the light. My heart aches for my daughter. And yet the night itself remains holy. The perceptions and joy that come in the wake of falling in love are not a cruel illusion; it is not a mirage to tease the hungry and the desperate. So what is the purpose of this ephemeral fleeting and grand experience?
Falling in love is a heavenly gift which shows us what love might be. It gives us a deep if fleeting experience of the true nature of divine reality. Even if it is no longer in our immediate grasp, the experience of great love becomes the beacon which guides us in our quest. We navigate the raging torrents and insidious undertow of uncertainty to the compass of love’s core certainty. The visions we held but for a short time, the beauty we glimpsed but for a fleeting moment, are the memories which drive, energize and guide us on our quest. Falling in love is somewhat like the mating calls of a firefly.
marc gafni
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