Falling in Love: Part Nineteen: Marc Gafni

Continued from yesterday.

Good morning everyone. A gorgeous day to you all.

This pattern of arousal from above, followed by a fall to which we need to respond with avodah — human work — is not only the pattern of love in relationship. It reveals a deep truth in the pattern of reality. There are three distinct stages in this pattern:

The initial flash of energy;
The loss of the initial energy;
The drive to re-experience, to re-access, the initial energy.

The importance of the primary flash of energy cannot be overstated. Falling in love! It is this initial experience that teaches us what is possible. It is the early euphoria which holds out a vision of the relationship as it could be. Without that vision there would be no reason to assume we could ever reach higher than the pain and friction which always accompany the fall; there would be no siren of possibility to lure us out of the dreary flatness of our post-fall melancholy.

Yet, this is much more than just a circular pattern. The goal of the process is not merely to fall back in love but to reach a place that is both higher and deeper than the initial flash. The energy re-formed, the primary experience re-claimed, is always deeper, more stable and more powerful than the initial occurrence. We fall in love, we fall out of love, we work to regain the experience of grandeur we felt at the beginning. We succeed in returning to our point of origin — we regain love lost — yet the reclaimed love is far deeper and more beautiful than we ever imagined it could be, even in those early heady days.

marc gafni
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