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Never Marry for Love, Be Love

Sometimes you ask a person: “Are you in love?” And they say: “No, I’m not with anyone.” What a sad answer! First, it’s not true. You are with so many people in so many ways. Let me tell you a holy secret, a really holy secret. Don’t tell anyone, it’s a big secret: Never marry for love! Never marry for love, because if you marry for love, oh my God, that’s so tragic. It’s great to love the person you marry, that’s awesome, but don’t marry for love.

If marriage is the only place you find love, you’ll destroy the marriage, because you’ve got to feel love in so many places. Do you want to have a romantic, sexual love only with your partner? That’s a beautiful choice, go for it! That’s awesome, that’s your path, that’s the most gorgeous thing in the world, it’s beautiful, it’s deep, one of the deepest spiritual practices in the world. Monogamous, romantic, sexual love, awesome – but that’s just one-time love.

You want to be love in the world, you want to be lived as love, I want to be lived as love. I want the world, God, the Universe, reality, to live me as love, to be love. And that doesn’t mean to be weak! Love is not weak, love is strong–love is the strongest force in the Universe. Love is what moves quarks to become atoms and atoms to become molecules and molecules to become cells. Love is the evolutionary love that drives it all, the evolutionary force of the Cosmos, ever driving towards higher and levels of recognition, union and embrace.

Be love, for you are a unique expression of love. That’s what we said two days ago: you are a unique set of attractions, of allurements, because the Universe is made up of a field of attractions, electromagnetic and gravitational, the strong and the weak. These are the core fields of attraction, and the unique passions and attractions that make up your life, are the loves of your life, and you are responsible to that love.

In a way, the Christ lives only in you, Buddha lives only in you; only through you can the Buddha be the four Noble Truths of love, only in you can the Buddha live the Eightfold Path of love. Without you, there’s a corner of the Universe that is un-love, that is cold, indifferent, scared, filled with fear and therefore with anger, brutality and violence.

Be love! Not weak, sad, New Age and Hallmark Cards love–how boring–but strong, pulsating, breathtaking, fearsome, awesome love, uniquely expressed as the allurements and attractions and passions that form the unique tapestry of your life, of your being and becoming. Be love!

From: Loving Your Way to Enlightenment by Dr. Marc Gafni (taken from a transcript of a teaching for the Venwoude Circle)

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